I need a vacation. A vacation from motherhood. Because if I have to step over one more toy strewn about the living room floor, I might just break. I'm tired. My body is aching, and my two-year-old can't comprehend my physical limitations. And mentally? I'm drained from multi-tasking. Can I think of just one thing at a time? PEOPLE! I forgot to put on deodorant today! The terrible thing is I didn't notice until the afternoon. Apparently, my screaming baby took precedence while I was getting ready this morning. And the sacrifice? It's all about sacrifice. Every day. Every moment. I feel more unraveled these past few years than any other moment of my life.
Motherhood is hard.
But then. . .
God is here.
In these moments when I feel as if I want to trample on his good gifts. He sees me, wrecked and unraveled, and he loves me. Amid the puzzle pieces, stuffed animals, and burp rags, I cry out to him. And all the rage inside of me is never too big for him to handle. He sees me, and he answers me,
“Come to me, [Sandra,] you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28, NIV
He wants me to seek him. Yes, even in the middle of my chaotic, unraveled, worn day. But can I be honest here? Everything in me resists him. Because I don't believe his promise in Matthew 11:28. If I did, then I'd go running to him.
The other day I was reading Psalm 23, and though I've read it numerous times before, the Word brought new understanding to me.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He MAKES me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.”
Psalm 23:1-2, NIV (emphasis added).
Sometimes I feel as if God allows certain circumstances in my life to MAKE me lie down and rest. And to surrender to his lead, so he will take me by those quiet waters. Because like I said, I resist him. And sometimes it's because I don't believe in his promises, but other times it's because my resistance is rooted in pride. There are days I convince myself I can do life on my own. I can take care of my three precious gifts without needing help. And then, I find myself in need of a vacation. (Like the other day, when I wrote the first paragraph to this post. )
I don't want to go back to that day. I need God. I need to abide in him, and I want to linger in his presence. Will you join me today?
Because when the day is in full swing, it's not about marking another task off your “to do” list, it's about abiding in him. Only he can restore us.
Only he can give us rest. Yes, even in the middle of our exhausting, unraveled, beautiful, but blessed type of days.
Join me this week as we study what Scripture has to say about rest. If you'd like to download the reading guide for the week, please click here. Let's begin by reading a verse from Monday's passage.
“By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.” Genesis 2:2, NIV
As you read this verse, consider the following questions:
What is the significance of this verse?
When we intentionally deny ourselves of rest, what is the message of our actions?
How will you seek rest this week?
****Just so you know, a temporary “vacation” from motherhood is often needed. And I'm thankful my husband will often take all three of our girls out, so I can enjoy a bit of quiet in the house. It is, in every sense, a mini vacation for me. :) ****
Photo: Aaron Burden