“Just leave me in the valley, then, Lord!” The words were spoken so quickly I couldn't even begin to comprehend the weight of them. But I said them, and God heard me. My wounds were too deep, the darkness too dark for him to break through—at least I thought so.
And so, I wrestled with God, similarly to the way my baby girl wrestles me when I quiet her to sleep. Though desperately in need of rest, she kicks her legs, using every bit of strength to push away from me. She's strong and determined, refusing to give up her fight.
I am strong and determined as she is.
Because there are days when tomorrow seems unclear—unplanned circumstances, unanswered prayers, and long valleys. I wrestle God through hardship, unable to fully understand his plans, not wanting to wait to see how they will come together. I push so hard against him, it's as if I push him away completely.
And then, there's silence.
And I really wonder if he's left me behind—left me to navigate this dark valley of mine.
“Do not let the floodwaters engulf me or the depths swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me. Answer me, O Lord, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me.”
Psalm 69:15-16, NIV
God is merciful.
When my fists are clenched, he's merciful to me. I beat upon his chest with my words, pushing hard against him, and he waits for me to let go—to let go of the fight and surrender.
“'The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.'”
Zephaniah 3:17, NIV
No matter how hard I wrestle God, he never leaves me. He may be silent, waiting to see how I will respond, but he never forsakes me. God is a mighty warrior, often saving me from myself. He delights in me, as I delight in my children. Although they wrestle me at times, there is no fight stronger than my love for them. God quiets me with his love, and often this leads to surrender—a letting go of control and renewing my trust in him.
Because truly, there is no wound too deep for him, nor darkness too dark for him.
My God is a mighty warrior.
His merciful hand saves me from my own despair.
Join me this week as we learn more about who God is—mighty warrior, restorer, good, and able. Please click here to download this week's reading guide.
Let's begin by reading a verse from Monday's passage.
“'I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.'” Isaiah 42:16, NIV
As you read this verse, consider the following:
Take a look at the actions words in this verse. What will God do?
In what ways do you see God working these actions in your life today?
Why is the final promise in this verse comforting?
Photo: Priscilla Du Preez